ADDENDUM, writing journey

This post was written two years ago, addendum added today.

My writing journey began in 2005 when I started to write a book about how Celebrate Recovery had helped me overcome multiple hurts, habits and hang-ups I struggled with as a result of having grown up in an unhealthy family. The result was When Therapy Isn’t Enough, published in 2008 by House to House Publications and in 2011 by Tate Publishing Company.

My second book, When Religion Isn’t Enough, was published in 2012 by Tate. It chronicles my journey from religion to relationship, explaining the difference between having religion and having a personal relationship with God.

I then wrote When the Glass Ceiling is Stained. This book was birthed in an experience I had in which I was removed from a church leadership position I firmly believed God had called me to. It discusses the differences between ordination and anointing, as well as the differences between leading and managing. I decided to share this experience and the lessons I learned from it in the hope that other women would benefit from it.

I served in leadership in various Celebrate Recovery ministries for 10 years. In 2013 I had both of my knees replaced (one in June and one in October) and stepped out of the Celebrate Recovery leadership role I was serving in at that time, believing that this season of my life had come to an end. Throughout the following winter (as my knees were healing) I waited on God to let me know what he wanted me to do next and wrote When Doing Isn’t Enough, published by Tate in 2015.

God did indeed let me know what He wanted me to do next. In July 2014 He lit a fire in my heart to help his daughters be set free from belief systems and practices which reinforce the inequality of the sexes. In response to that fire being lit I wrote When Going with the Flow Isn’t Enough, incorporating much of Glass Ceiling into it.

As I worked with Tate Publishing Company during the publishing process of Doing, I saw a number of red flags which made me uneasy about continuing my relationship with them. Therefore, as I was writing Going with the Flow, I began to look for another publishing company and found Credo House Publishers. Credo published Going with the Flow in 2017.

Also in 2017 Tate Publishing Company went bankrupt. Before they went out of business, they offered to sell a print ready file of each of the author’s manuscripts to the author for a small fee. I purchased the print ready file for Doing and had Credo re-publish it. Glass Ceiling had already been incorporated into Going with the Flow, AND, I decided to write one new manuscript from my first two, Therapy and Religion. Though the new book is titled When Therapy Isn’t Enough, it is very different (and better if I do say so myself) than the earlier book of the same name.

The writing and publishing journey has been nothing like I expected it to be. It has taken more perseverance, risk taking, and financial resources than I imagined, AND I am not at the end of this journey. I am committed to keep writing, regardless of the cost, until everything God wants me to write is written and published.

ADDENDUM: My journey clearly has not ended. My newest book, When Success Isn’t Enough, was released a few weeks ago. In it I discuss the similarities and differences between living a successful life and living a purposeful life.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

waiting in the pandemic

It’s getting harder and harder to wait for this pandemic to be over, whenever that may be. One of the hardest things for me is that I can’t DO anything other than obey the stay at home order. As I was thinking about this, I was reminded of some words of my own that I wrote. Excerpt, When Doing Isn’t Enough:

 We have all experienced times of waiting in our lives. We might not have liked it or chosen it; however, we have experienced it. We may have tolerated it or hated it or waited in anger or waited in fear or waited in expectancy. We may have decided to put the time to good use like reading a book or working on a laptop while in a waiting room or we may have paced or we may have slept. We may have smoked cigarettes or drank coffee or did any combination of any of these or any other of a multitude of additional coping mechanisms. However we have chosen to wait though, we have waited.

Link: https://www.amazon.com/When-Doing-Enough-Waiting-Plenty/dp/1625860838/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1508523850&sr=8-3&keywords=books+by+mary+detweiler

 

waiting in the pandemic

If you are having difficulty waiting for the coronavirus pandemic to be over, you might find When Doing Isn’t Enough helpful.

Excerpt: “Don’t just do something. Stand there!” As a task-oriented individual who has historically functioned as an overachiever, I had great difficulty wrapping my mind around this concept. `Just being and not doing went against my grain on a very deep level…while we’re waiting there are many choices we need to make…we can choose to sink into despair or we can choose to wait in expectant hope. We can choose to be patient (regardless of how we feel) or we can choose to be impatient and irritable and drive ourselves and people around us crazy.

Link: https://www.amazon.com/When-Doing-Enough-Waiting-Plenty/dp/1625860838/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1508523850&sr=8-3&keywords=books+by+mary+detweiler

 

sad question

I had dinner with some women friends last night and the question “Is the United States ready for a woman president?” was raised. That question fills me with sadness and reminds me how far we still need to go in the struggle for gender equality.

Excerpt from When Going with the Flow Isn’t Enough:

“Though tremendous legislative strides have been made regarding both racial and gender equality, it is sad but true to acknowledge that racism and sexism still exist. They exist because “isms” are not legal conditions, they are heart conditions and legislation does not change hearts. Civil rights legislation taught us that. I believe that if sexism and racism are to truly come to an end, hearts need to change in a way that leaves people color blind and gender blind, seeing each other as equal, different yet equal.”

Link: https://www.amazon.com/When-Going-Flow-Enough-Upstream/dp/1625860714/

 

 

healing: a process

Excerpt from When Therapy Isn’t Enough:

Due to the dysfunction in the family I grew up in, I entered adulthood with many emotional and spiritual wounds, destructive habits and crippling hang-ups, most of which were outside my awareness. I began a healing process in my early adulthood even though I did not have a clear idea of what needed to be healed.

… the first step in my healing process was engaging in psychotherapy…Psychotherapy helped me to change on the outside; my inside, however, remained untouched for a very long time. Without consciously realizing it, I accepted this as normal, assuming I had reached the end of the healing process.

While still in therapy I added secular recovery (ACOA ALANON) to my healing process. Secular recovery taught me that I was not alone. I learned firsthand that other people had life experiences similar to mine and had similar feelings to mine.

In 2003 I stumbled upon Celebrate Recovery, a Christ-centered 12-Step recovery program, and that has made all the difference for me. Through working a program that continually pointed me toward Jesus, I learned how to access his healing power. My childhood wounds were finally healed—not coped with but healed. My habits are being broken one by one, and my crippling hang-ups have evaporated. They have been replaced with faith and trust in my Higher Power, Jesus Christ.

Link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1625861117/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1531867727&sr=1-2&keywords=When+Therapy+Isn%27t+Enough

 

waiting and serving

Excerpt from When Doing Isn’t Enough:

Waiting is not popular in our modern society. Immediate gratification is popular. We want what we want now, and we do everything possible to get whatever it is we want now and avoid waiting…God appears to like waiting and seems to require it of anyone who will be used by him, particularly those who will be used in a significant way. When studying the lives of individuals in the Bible who have been used by God to accomplish extraordinary tasks there certainly seems to be a correlation between waiting and serving God in the extraordinary ways they were called to serve.

Link: https://www.amazon.com/When-Doing-Enough-Waiting-Plenty/dp/1625860838/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1508523850&sr=8-3&keywords=books+by+mary+detweiler

 

The Apostle Paul and Me?

I am reading a biography of the Apostle Paul by N.T. Wright. Some of the words Mr. Wright used to describe Paul were “bold”, “never tried to hide things”, “tactless”, “never tried to curry favor”, “never for a moment shrinking from speaking out”, “reputation as a world-roving troublemaker”, “much more afraid of not being true to the gospel than of any consequences a bold proclamation might have had.”

 As I read these various descriptions of Paul it occurred to me that many of them describe me as well. This was very comforting to me as the characteristics I share with Paul have historically been seen as negative by many church people, especially church leaders. Now that I know what good company I’m in, I can shake off the opinions of me held by these individuals, no longer allowing them to impact me. Maybe some of these characteristics are what is needed for a disciple of Christ to significantly impact his or her world.

 

 

 

perspective

I just finished reading Michelle Obama’s book Becoming. I highly recommend it. Gave me a real sense of who both she and her husband are as people, not political figures.

The following statement of hers resonated deeply with me: “Meeting Nelson Mandela gave me the perspective I needed…that real change happens slowly, not just over months and years but over decades and lifetimes.”

 

necessary ingredients

The following excerpt from When Going with the Flow Isn’t Enough has been running through my mind all morning, soooo I decided to share it. Here it is:

“I want them [my sisters in Christ] to be who they were created to be, to be free to operate in their spiritual gifts, and to fulfill the purpose for which they were created and designed to fulfill. I want the Church to not only give them permission to pursue their calling, but to also actively encourage and support them in doing so. I want the Church to tell them they are on equal footing with men and don’t need to fit themselves into prescribed roles.

Needless to say, we have a long way to go to make this happen. There are a lot of battles which will need to be fought and many streams in which individuals will need to swim upstream. Much conflict and controversy will follow. Whoever chooses to fight these battles or swim up these streams will need to be ready and willing to face a torrent of opposition. It will take people who have the determination of James Madison, the visionary leadership of Elizabeth Stanton, the dedication of Susan B. Anthony, the perseverance of Martin Luther King Jr., the amazing selflessness of the Freedom Riders, and the passion of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Most of all though, it will take people whose hearts have been changed by Christ.”

If anyone is interested in reading more, here’s the link to purchase the book: https://www.amazon.com/When-Going-Flow-Enough-Upstream/dp/1625860714/

 

a polarized nation, a balanced view

I keep hearing on the news about how polarized and divided our country is and how bad it is that this is the current state of affairs. If you are distressed about this I encourage you to look at it from a broader perspective, i.e. –

1. Our country was so polarized over slavery in the 1800s that we actually divided into two nations and went to war with each other.

2. Our country was so polarized in the 1930s about participating in the war in Europe that Roosevelt delayed entering the war even though he knew it was the right thing to do. Perhaps if the United States had stepped in sooner, the war would have ended sooner and fewer people would have died.

3. We were also very polarized in the 1950s, ‘60s and 70s over civil rights and the Vietnam War. These divisions led to numerous acts of civil disobedience, demonstrations and riots in which countless individuals were injured and/or killed.

Our country survived all of these very trying times, and we will survive this one.