writing & publishing


If you have a vision for a book and a passion for writing it, you will either give birth to it or be miserable. It’s like the feeling a pregnant woman has right at the end of the pregnancy when she wants to scream out loud “get this baby out of me!” (Speaking from personal experience). No one else can write that book because no one else has the same mix of life experiences and personality characteristics that you have. More importantly, no one else has the vision and the passion for it. Remember though, writing a book, getting it published, and marketing it is HARD work. So…….DON’T GIVE UP & DON’T BE AFRAID TO MAKE A MISTAKE!

Writers who didn’t give up:

• Dr. Seuss’s first book was rejected by 27 publishers.
• Max Lucado’s first book was rejected by 14 publishers.
• Stephen King’s first novel, Carrie, was rejected by 30 publishers.
Chicken Soup for the Soul was rejected 140 times.
• Margaret Mitchell’s Gone with the Wind was rejected by 38 publishers.
• James Joyce’s Dubliner was rejected 18 times and took nine years before it reached publication.
• J.K. Rowling’s first manuscript, Harry Potter, was rejected by 12 publishers before one was willing to give her a chance. That publisher, however, told her to get a day job because she had little chance of making money writing children’s books.

Writers who initially self-published:

Irma Rombauer spent half her life savings in 1931 to print copies of The Joy of Cooking. Five years later Bobbs-Merrill Company acquired the rights to her cookbook. It has now sold over 18 million copies.

Beatrix Potter self-published The Tale of Peter Rabbit in 1901. She printed 250 copies of the book. Within a year, it was picked up by one of the publishers who had previously rejected it, F. Warne & Co. The book almost immediately sold 20,000 copies. That company went on to publish 22 more of her books over the next 40 years. At present, over two million Beatrix Potter books are sold each year.

Richard Bolles self-published his job-hunting guide What Color Is Your Parachute? in 1970. In 1972, he found an independent publisher in Berkeley, CA who was willing to print small quantities of the book so that it could be frequently updated. In 1979, it appeared on the New York Times best-seller list and stayed there for more than a decade. Since then the book has been updated almost yearly; has periodically been on the New York Times best-seller list; has sold more than 10 million copies worldwide; and has never been out of print.

James Redfield self-published The Celestine Prophecy after the manuscript was repeatedly rejected by publishers. He sold 100,000 copies out of the trunk of his car before Warner Books agreed to publish it. It has now sold over 20 million copies worldwide.

John Grisham wrote his first novel, A Time to Kill, in 1989. After 28 rejections, he published 5,000 copies through Wynwood Press, a small private publisher. Doubleday eventually agreed to publish his books and after The Firm, The Pelican Brief and The Client all proved to be successful in the marketplace, Doubleday acquired the rights to A Time to Kill and reissued it

 

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On the recommendation of a friend I submitted a proposal to be a presenter at the Maryland Counseling Association’s annual conference in November. The proposal was accepted. The title of my presentation is “The Intersection of Gender Equality, Mental Health and the Church”. The presentation will include content from When Going with the Flow Isn’t Enough and When Therapy Isn’t Enough.

 

The following excerpt from When Going with the Flow Isn’t Enough has been on my mind a lot the last several days. I don’t know why. Maybe someone needs to read it, so I decided to share it. Here it is:

When an individual gives his or her life to God, that individual becomes part of God’s family. The Holy Spirit then comes to live inside that believer and endows him or her with spiritual gifts. A spiritual gift is an ability or talent that is given to an individual by God when he or she becomes part of God’s family. The Apostle Paul discussed spiritual gifts in his letter to the church in Corinth (1 Corinthians), his letter to the church in Rome (Romans 12), and his letter to the church in Ephesus (Ephesians 4).

 Important Point: There is no reference in any of Paul’s letters to gifts being distributed according to gender.

As I walked with Jesus I gradually came to the realization that I had been given the spiritual gift of leadership… As I tried to live out the purpose God had called me to, using the gifts he gave me, I ran into intense opposition. I crashed right into the stained glass ceiling. I was told that I was controlling (a bad thing) and that I was too strong of a leader (another bad thing)…I studied the difference between controlling and leading. I studied the difference between leading and managing.  I studied the difference between anointing and ordination. I read books on gender equality in the Church, and I studied the lives of women in the bible. As a result of all this I came to the unshakable conclusion that God is color blind and gender blind. He does not distribute gifts and assign purposes based on race or gender.

… as we grow into the people God created us to be, we become comfortable in our own skin. When we are comfortable in our own skin, we are able to unreservedly allow the people around us to be comfortable in their skin, to be who they are, who God created them to be. When we are not comfortable in our own skin, we often try to control our external circumstances and the people in our life in an effort to achieve that comfort. In her book Men and Women in the Church, Sarah Sumner, a noted author, international speaker, and dean of A. W. Tozer Theological Seminary, describes a time when she was impacted by people around her who were not comfortable in their own skins. “When I was a student at Trinity, one of my professors called me into his office and said to me in a warm, fatherly tone, ‘Sarah, do not show the full color of your plume; it will intimidate the men.’ She further stated ‘… every Christian woman is told not to lead too much.’”[i]

As I look back at the times I was told I was too strong of a leader and think about the people who told me this, I now understand that they were not comfortable in their own skins. If they were, they would not have been so threatened by me growing into the person and the leader God had anointed me to be.

[i] Sarah Sumner, Men And Women In The Church (Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 2003) pp. 26-27

another excerpt from When Therapy Isn’t Enough:

When God designed our bodies, he instilled in us a natural healing process for when we get injured or sick. Just watch the way a cut heals for an example of this.

The healing process doesn’t always happen in the way or the timing that we want, though. This is because we are not in charge of our own healing—God is. The healing is God’s choice, it’s always God’s choice. For example, God may choose not to heal the physical or mental illness. He may choose, instead, to give us the inner strength, peace and resources to cope with the illness.

When it comes to emotional and spiritual wounds, however, I believe that God wants to heal us. I believe he wants to heal us so we can be effective instruments in furthering his work in the world in the specific way he has chosen for us to do that. In his book The Purpose Driven Life Rick Warren states, “Before God created you, he decided what role he wanted you to play on earth. He planned exactly how he wanted you to serve him, and then he shaped you for those tasks. You are the way you are because you were made for a specific ministry.”

In case you might be interested in purchasing it, here’s the link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1625861117/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1531867727&sr=1-2&keywords=When+Therapy+Isn%27t+Enough

Excerpt from new book:

When one is struggling with emotional and/or spiritual wounds, destructive habits and/or crippling hang-ups that are impeding one’s life and are most probably rooted in toxic shame, three available avenues for healing are psychotherapy, secular recovery and Christ-centered recovery. Though therapy and secular recovery undeniably help people to change for the better, it has been my experience that neither one can take you the distance. Only God, personified in Jesus Christ, can love with perfect, unconditional love, and because of this he is the only one who can heal toxic shame. Therefore, a program such as Celebrate Recovery that acknowledges God as the healer and is continually pointing people toward God for their healing is the most effective at healing toxic shame.

John Bradshaw, in his book Healing the Shame that Binds You, states: “Twelve-step groups literally were born out of the courage of two people risking coming out of hiding. One alcoholic person (Bill W.) turned to another alcoholic person (Dr. Bob) and they told each other how bad they really felt about themselves. I join with Scott Peck in seeing this dialogue coming out of hiding as one of the most important events of this century.”

I join with John Bradshaw and Scott Peck in seeing the dialogue between Bill W. and Dr. Bob, in which they each came out of hiding and gave birth to 12-Step groups, as one of the most important events of the 20th century. I believe that another important event of the 20th century, a building block on what Bill W. and Dr. Bob did, is what John Baker and Rick Warren did. John Baker understood the vision God gave him for a Christ-centered recovery program and acted on it, giving birth to Celebrate Recovery. Rick Warren gave John Baker the needed permission and support to establish and build Celebrate Recovery at Saddleback Church in Southern California and then take it to the world.

In case you might be interested in purchasing it, here’s the link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1625861117/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1531867727&sr=1-2&keywords=When+Therapy+Isn%27t+Enough

 

 

As a way of introducing myself on goodreads.com I outlined my writing journey in my bio. I decided to share it here as well so my followers here can have the big picture if they wish. Here it is:

My writing journey began in 2005 when I started to write a book about how Celebrate Recovery had helped me overcome multiple hurts, habits and hang-ups I struggled with as a result of having grown up in an unhealthy family. It took me three years to write that book due to working full-time and parenting two teenagers. The result was When Therapy Isn’t Enough, published in 2008 by House to House Publications and in 2011 by Tate Publishing Company. My second book, When Religion Isn’t Enough, was published in 2012 by Tate and explains the difference between having religion and having a personal relationship with God. It also chronicles my journey from religion to relationship. I then wrote When the Glass Ceiling is Stained which was birthed in an experience I had in the fall of 2004 when I was removed from a church leadership position I firmly believed God had called me to. That book discusses the differences between ordination and anointing, as well as the differences between leading and managing. I also raise the following question: “Is Jesus the head of your church body or denomination? You may think he is, but is he really? How can you tell? The definitive mark of whether or not human beings are truly allowing Jesus to be the head of the church is when individuals who are gifted to lead, lead, and individuals who are gifted to preach, preach: regardless of their gender.” I decided to share that experience and the lessons I learned from that experience in the hope that other women who have been given the spiritual gift of leadership would benefit from it.

I served in leadership in various Celebrate Recovery ministries for 10 years. In 2013 I had both of my knees replaced (one in June and one in October) and stepped out of the Celebrate Recovery leadership role I was serving in at that time. Throughout the following winter (as my knees were healing) I waited on God to let me know what he wanted me to do next and wrote When Doing Isn’t Enough, published by Tate in 2015. In July 2014 lit a fire in my heart to help his daughters be set free from belief systems and practices which reinforce the inequality of the sexes. In response to that fire being lit I wrote When Going with the Flow Isn’t Enough, incorporating much of Glass Ceiling into it.

As I worked with Tate Publishing Company during the publishing process of Doing I saw a number of red flags which made me very uneasy about continuing my relationship with them. Therefore, as I was writing Going with the Flow, I began to look for another publishing company and found Credo House Publishers. Credo published Going with the Flow in 2017.

Another happening which occurred in 2017 is that Tate Publishing Company went bankrupt. Before they went out of business they offered to sell a print ready file of each of the author’s manuscripts to the author for a small fee. I purchased the print ready file for Doing and Credo re-published it. Glass Ceiling had already been incorporated into Going with the Flow, AND, I decided to write one new manuscript from my first two, Therapy and Religion. Though the new book is titled When Therapy Isn’t Enough, it is very different (and better if I do say so myself) than the earlier book of the same name.

Believe it or not, writing a book is easy compared to marketing and promoting it. Since my newest book was released one month ago, I have been trying to be creative in marketing it. One of the things I have done is spend a lot of time on the Goodreads website over the last few days.

I have been a member of Goodreads since 2012 however, have never taken the time to learn how to be an active member and how to promote my books there. Soooo, I am now taking the time to do that. I have built a personal profile and created an author page. If you are interested in checking out my author page, and possibly following it, here’s the link:  https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/4238008.Mary_Detweiler

I would appreciate your help and support in this.

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